[UPDATED 12.14.04: When Owen popped out of Michelle's belly on 12.08.04, this pregnancy FAQ lost a bit of its freshness. Nonetheless, for your edification, here are the answers to a bunch of questions we were frequently asked during Michelle's pregnancy:]
Q: How is Michelle feeling?
A: Great, except for the 3 a.m. leg cramps.
Q: Is her belly getting bigger?
A: Yes, dumbass, it is. She’s PREGNANT.
Q: Does she have any particular food cravings?
A: Not really.
Q: Is the baby a boy or a girl?
A: A boy. (Or a girl with a penis.)
Q: Have you picked out a name?
A: Yes.
Q: Are you going to circumcise the baby?
A: Not personally, no.
Q: Is this your first baby?
A: As far as we know, yes.
Q: Are the two of you excited/nervous/scared?
A: Yes.
Q: Are you ready for the baby's arrival?
A: Hell no.
